Mother details ADHD child’s rapid slide from excitement to anxiety over new secondary school rules

"You can't punish the SEN out of a child," parent argues, after her son went off sick from Ark Alexandra Academy, never to return.

 

A mother has spoken about how her older child, who has ADHD, autism and a bowel condition, went from being “excited” about going to secondary school to wanting to leave, after racking up three hours of detention within his first three weeks as a year seven.

In a vivid description of her son’s first days at Ark Alexandra Academy in Hastings, East Sussex, Kirsten Matthews said her son Michael* had become so stressed after starting at the school as a year seven that he had been left “doubled up in pain, on the toilet,” after receiving a string of punishments for what she said were minor rules infractions, including over uniform.

Michael had been diagnosed with ADHD in year six and then had his autism confirmed during his first days at Ark Alexandra.

Ms Matthews’ comments to Education Uncovered come after a study was published in April stating that children were experiencing a more pronounced disengagement from school in year seven across England than was seen in other countries. Ark Alexandra is the subject of ongoing investigation by Education Uncovered, following evidence that more than 200 families took their children out of the school during 2023-24 amid controversy over its “no nonsense” approach to pupil behaviour, uniform and equipment. The current rules were introduced under the executive principal Rhys Spiers, who took up that role in September 2023. The school’s year seven to nine cohorts in 2023 had shrunk by a sixth by the time they reached years nine to 11 this year.

Ms Matthews said Michael, who is now 12, had had a good experience at primary school, having attended another academy within the Ark chain: Ark Blacklands, also in Hastings. She said this had been “fantastic…[and] so inclusive: they will see a need in a child and really make sure those needs are met”.

Children could “receive consequences” at this school for being disrespectful, or breaking rules, but “you weren’t punished for leaving your blazer in your maths classroom before going to English,” as had happened to Michael during his few weeks at Ark Alexandra.

As to Michael’s start there, at the beginning of this academic year, she said: “He went into year seven in September. He was 11, and learning the new routines …the expectations of a child make such a massive jump from primary to secondary. They are learning new subjects and are expected to sit and study. Processing all of that new information, changes and expectation with ADHD and autism is a tall task.

“Within 12 days of him being there, he got nearly three hours’ worth of detention. It comes through on the parent app. And I’m looking at the reasons for detention and I’m thinking what? He’s not even been naughty.”

Ms Matthews was able to provide evidence of some of the sanctions – or “interventions,” as the school calls them – which Michael received. On September 16^th, he received an intervention for “missing uniform,” with it also being recorded for that day that he had had “no blazer and shirt untucked”. An entry for September 19^th states that he “twice walked over on the right when transitioning from lunch”. On September 23^rd, it is stated that Michael had “no clear pencil case, reminded multiple time[s] to get one;” on September 24^th, there was a sanction for “shirt untucked;” and on October 8^th an intervention was given for “no homework/insufficient homework”.

Messages also show the length of detentions, which ranged from 15 minutes to 60 minutes, and with one span of four days in a row with a detention on each.

Ms Matthews gave a flavour of some of the reasons for detentions: “The blazer, which he’s forgotten from one class to another; his shirt had come untucked on one side; he didn’t have a black pen, he had a blue pen; he didn’t have a clear pencil case, which was my fault, I didn’t know that that was a rule, that they had to have a transparent pencil case. He got a detention for that.”

On this last point, Ms Matthews was particularly concerned, as she simply could not afford to replace this piece of equipment – hence the “multiple reminders” about it from his teacher. She said she had told Michael that she did not have the money to replace it.

She continued: “It’s counter-productive. Fearing more detentions, after PE, Michael would be rushed and flustered while getting changed to get to lesson on time. But in his haste, he would fail to completely tuck his shirt in. His attempt to avoid one detention just landed him another. Michael’s biggest learning barrier is executive dysfunction. You can’t punish the SEN out of a child. They just end up disproportionately punished and disengaged.

“So, for a very robust child, who doesn’t have a history of mental health problems, and who had been excited at going to secondary school, in 12 days he was transformed. Within not even a week, he was like ‘I don’t want to go to school tomorrow, mum’. There was a real sudden change in him. And he just couldn’t understand why: what am I doing that’s so wrong?”

The anxiety, she said, then meant that as well as no longer wanting to go into school, he had a flare-up with gastrointestinal symptoms which had plagued him in the past when experiencing high stress. Michael was also having debilitating migraines, said Ms Matthews, adding that both conditions had been reviewed by health professionals and documented.

Ms Matthews said: “The gastro flare-up was so severe that I thought I was going to have to take him to hospital. He was doubled over, crying in pain….it was a physical response to processing stress of school.”

Michael was then off school for two weeks with these symptoms. As they started to improve at home, Ms Matthews got in touch with the school to try to secure him a toilet pass, to ensure that he could get to the toilet during lessons, if this was needed. But she said the school had not got back to her about this, over three days of trying.

Having lost confidence in the school’s ability to educate her child without triggering this stress, she felt she had no option but to home educate him, while seeking a move to another school.

She said: “I was left with the choice of seeing my child in direct harm while at school, or attempting home schooling. I knew that would be a disaster, but it was the better option from two very bad options.”

Michael did not return to Ark Alexandra after going off sick in October. He was deregistered from Ark Alexandra, and spent 120 days out of school being home educated. Then, earlier this year, he was accepted for a place at another secondary, elsewhere in East Sussex, before starting there in February. Ms Matthews said the contrast had been huge.

She said: “He’s a changed child: he’s thriving and doing so well. And he was like: ‘I can’t believe this is how it is. I thought that every school was like Ark’. It’s a real black and white contrast.

“The ethos [of his new school] is completely different. It’s very much based on mutual respect. The school is over capacity in year seven and this admission has really stretched their resources. But that hasn’t shown. He’s felt nothing but welcome.”

In terms of the different “ethos,” Ms Matthews said that staff at his new school are focused on being inclusive and understand neurodiversity and the challenges of SEN.

She said: “Michael rarely receives detentions at his new school. Michael remains a well-behaved pupil and does not like to get into trouble or break rules. But without a constant fear of being punished for his SEN challenges, he’s thriving both personally and academically. Physically, he’s doing great with zero flare ups”

“Teachers know that Michael is going to drop his blazer, or a coat, or a pencil case. So, with just a quick “Michael”, a little nod, or a discreet little side eye, you know, that’s all it needs. You don’t need to punish the child. And he can go onto the next lesson positively and get on with his learning without internalising why he’s the problem.”

Two other parents whose children have attended Ark Alexandra since 2023 have expressed concerns about the regime to Education Uncovered, as has the National Education Union. The local Labour MP, Helena Dollimore, has said she was “shocked” to learn of 123 children having been removed from the school in autumn 2024, and urged Ark to work more closely with parents “to consult on school policies”.

Ark has defended the disciplinary policies as introduced by Mr Spiers. It told me: “We understand that the new policy is not to everyone’s liking – but it has already had a positive impact. Attendance is up, and survey feedback from staff, parents and pupils recognises improvements at the school.”

In an exchange of views on Facebook with parents, an account under the name of Rhys Spiers – though I understand there have been some questions over whether it was really him – said: “Ark is taking a tradition[al], no nonsense approach. No more disruption or abusive behaviour from a minority of students and parents. What’s not to like?”

This account added: “Nothing is more inclusive for SEND students than a calm, safe and disruption free school.”

Ms Matthews said this stance chimed with her having been told twice by staff, on discussing her son’s position, “well, this school isn’t for everybody”.

You can read a fuller response from Ark in my separate piece on pupil numbers at the school and the wider background.

Education Uncovered is continuing to follow the controversy at Ark Alexandra.

 

*Both names have been changed.